


Comforting

by thorloser



Series: Bandom Babies (Agere Fics) [1]
Category: Green Day
Genre: Comfort, Coping Mechanisms, Diapers, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Nonsexual age regression, Parent Death, Trauma, also there's pee sometimes, diapers are present so if thats uncomfortable for you pls turn away, sfw age regression, tantrums
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13995204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorloser/pseuds/thorloser
Summary: Although Billie was excited by the idea that his band was getting so popular, it also majorly triggered his anxiety. He'd have to leave his home, his family, his hometown where he and Mike grew up together behind for an entire year. At least he'd have Mike with him. Mike was the only person going on tour with him that knew about his little secret...[This is not DDLB or ABDL, this is the act of using age regression as a coping mechanism and is entirely nonsexual. Also, I originally posted this on Wattpad. So if it looks familiar, that's why.]





	1. Does It Take Your Breath Away?

It was a fairly cold December evening in Oakland, California. Tonight was the night before the boys were supposed to start off their very first every tour as Green Day. For the next year, Billie, Mike and Tre were going to be traveling across the world together. It sounded like fun, didn't it?

 

Although Billie was excited by the idea that his band was getting so popular, it also majorly triggered his anxiety. He'd have to leave his home, his family, his hometown where he and Mike grew up together behind for an entire year. At least he'd have Mike with him. Mike was the only person going on tour with him that knew about his little secret...

 

Oh, fuck. His secret. What was Billie gonna do if Tre found out about it? He'd never been around when the... "thing" happens, so he doesn't know about it. Only Mike does. Billie's heart pounded in his chest just thinking about how mortifying it would be if Tre walked in on them...

 

I mean... As long as I keep my anxiety under control it shouldn't happen right? He thought. Yeah, I just have to keep it under control. I can do that.He yawned and snuggled up in his bed. It was already late and the rest of the boys were already asleep in their mats in Billie's room.The boys had decided to have a sleepover at Billie's house during their last night in Oakland. He looked at both of them, making sure they were both sound asleep, and surely enough, they were. Tre was tangled up in his blanket and snoring softly while Mike was laying on his stomach and cuddling his pillow as he slept peacefully.

 

Fuck, I'm thirsty. Billie thought. On his bedside table there was a cup of water on a coaster that Billie was drinking out of earlier that night while he and the boys were being their normal rowdy selves. He had barely touched it and it was still pretty full, and it looked very tempting at the moment. Bottoms up. Billie sat up in his bed and grabbed the cup, downing the contents of the glass cup and sat the now empty cup back down on the coaster, sighing and snuggling back into his blanket.

 

That hit the spot, he thought as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his pillow. Sleepytime now. Billie inhaled deeply and sighed, trying to clear his mind. I'll be okay... Nothing bad will happen... I'll be okay... Nothing bad...will happen...

 

–

 

4 AM,only four hours had passed before Billie woke up, his heart feeling like it was going to pound out of his chest. He had a horrible,frightening dream that left him sweating and shaking. He sat up in his bed and tried to breathe normally, but then noticed something else had happened while he was asleep.

 

No no no... He thought. He lifted the blanket up and looked under it and it only helped confirm his suspicions. There was a wet stain on the crotch of his pajama pants and a puddle underneath his body that reeked of urine. It still felt relatively warm, meaning that he must have done it near the end of his dream.Billie's face grew red and hot in embarrassment, looking to see if the boys were up. Luckily they weren't, but there was no way Billie was going to be able to clean his mess up without waking them up.

 

All of this was so stressful. The tour starting later that day, having to leave home, having to keep his secret a secret, and now this. The amount of stress that was being put on Billie made his fragile mind wander back and forth between his normal self and his... secret self.

 

"Please....No..." Billie pleaded quietly to himself, "I can't do this tonight... Not with Tre here... It's so early in the morning... I...I ca...." He felt the lump form in his throat. No...he thought, This can't be happening... He saw his vision blur with tears and felt a sob creeping up his throat.Pl... Plea... He couldn't think anymore.All he wanted to do was cry. He whimpered and let a little sob out,but it couldn't be held back anymore and he began full-on weeping loudly.

 

"Waaaaaahhh!"Billie cried and rubbed his eyes with his fists.

 

Tre woke up, startled at the suddenness and severity of Billie's crying. He sat up in his mat, still a little groggy, "Dude... What's the matter...?" He said as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Bad dream?"

 

Billie couldn't answer and continued to cry, tears and snot dribbling down his face. Tre got up and went over to the bed once he was less groggy, getting a better look at Billie.

 

"Bill... Are you okay?" He asked, sounding more concerned than the first time he spoke. "Are you hurt? Sick? Answer me, dude!"

 

Billiehiccuped and whimpered, "H-huuuu..."

 

"That...Doesn't really answer my question," Tre said, sitting down on the bed and getting back up immediately when he felt the now cold liquid touch his bottom. "What the fuck?!" He said, looking down at the bed and seeing the wet spot. "Bill, you pissed the bed?"

 

Although Tre didn't really mean any harm, he unwillingly made the situation worse. Billie began crying harder and curled up on the bed, burying his face in his knees and sobbing. Tre stepped back from the bed and watched this, having no idea what to do.

 

Having heard Billie's meltdown, Mike awoke next and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, "What's happening...?" He murmured.

 

"I dunno, but Billie is freaking the hell out," Tre said, "I heard him crying and it woke me up, and when I asked him what was wrong he wouldn't answer me. Then I sat down on his bed and I'm pretty sure he pissed himself." He felt his bottom, grimacing at how cold and wet it felt from having sat in Billie's urine puddle. "I'm kinda scared, Mike. I don't know what's wrong with him. Should we call the hospital?"

 

"Don't," Mike said, getting up from his mat on the floor, "I know what's wrong with him."

 

"You do?" Tre asked, confused. He watched as Mike went over to Billie's bed and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, illuminating the bedroom. Billie was still curled up and crying into his knees when this happened, having not even noticed that Mike was up.

 

"Hey buddy..." Mike spoke softly and placed a hand on Billie's shoulder gently, "It's Mikey. Are you okay?" He had a very gentle and caring tone to his voice, nothing like Tre had ever heard before.

 

Billies niffled and lifted his head, his face covered in tears and snot. He hiccuped and whimpered, "M-Mikey... I'm sc-scawred... a-and," hes huddered and whined, "I... p-pee'd mysewf..."

 

"Aww, sweetie..." Mike cooed softly and rubbed Billie's back with his hand, "Did you have a bad dream?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, away from the piss puddle. Billie simply nodded and hiccuped,rubbing his eye with his fist. "Poor baby..." Mike pulled Billie into a tight hug, patting his back while Billie cried into his chest."Shhhhhh, it's okay, it's okay... You're alright baby boy, it was just a scary dream..."

 

Tre was absolutely dumbfounded by what he was seeing and hearing. Two people that he thought he knew everything about were in front of him,doing... whatever the hell that was. He felt sick at his stomach, like he was definitely not supposed to be seeing this. "Uh... M-maybe I should... leave you two alone..." He stammered.

 

"Go sit in the living room," Mike told Tre, "I'll explain when I'm done getting him cleaned up." Tre nodded and went to leave the room, Mike covering Billie's ears and adding, "This isn't a sex thing, by the way."

 

"Gotcha," Tre said and held a thumbs up as he left the bedroom and closed the door, going into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

 

"Now, little one," Mike uncovered Billie's ears and rubbed his back gently, "Let's get you out of those icky pants and diaper you up, hm?" He grabbed Billie and lifted him off the bed, holding him in his arms and not caring about getting his own clothes wet. "We really should have put a diaper on you earlier," Mike said as he carried Billie to the bathroom connected to his bedroom and sat him down on the toilet and began to take Billie's soaked pants and underwear off.

 

"I know..." Billie kept his head low as Mike was cleaning him up, "I sowwy..."

 

"Why are you sorry, baby?" Mike asked, cleaning up Billie's privates and thighs with some baby wipes. "It's Mikey's fault he didn't put a diaper on you, not yours, sweetie. And besides, you had another guest over and you would have been embarrassed." And we see how THAT turned out. Mike said in his head while he finished cleaning up Billie's mess. He took another wipe and cleaned the tears and snot off of Billie's face.

 

Billie merely nodded in agreement as his thumb crept towards his mouth,sucking on it sheepishly. Being little, he didn't really care about Tre seeing him behave like this, because to little Billie, Tre was just another adult. Adult Billie on the other hand, would have been absolutely mortified.

 

"Alright, you're all clean now," Mike said, "I'm going to get your changing supplies and some clean pants for you. Just stay on the potty until I come back, okay buttercup?" He said and gently ruffled Billie's hair.

 

Billie nodded, his thumb still firmly in his mouth. Mike left the bathroom for a moment and returned with a diaper, baby powder and a clean pair of pajama bottoms. He had Billie lay down on the floor while he powdered his bottom and privates and taped the thick, puffy diaper onto him and pulled his clean pants up over it. Billie looked down at his crotch, patting it gently and making the diaper crinkle lightly. He looked back up at Mike, reaching for him with his free hand while his thumb remained in his mouth.

 

"Come here little guy," Mike said and lifted Billie up, holding him close and nuzzling his cute little face. "I bet you feel all better now."Billie nodded a little and rested his head on Mike's shoulder, his eyes looking droopy. "It is pretty late, huh little boy? It's way passed both of our bedtimes." He looked at Billie's bed from the doorway, "We still have to clean your bed up too..." Billie whined at this and rubbed his eyes, beginning to act fussy. "I know buddy, Mikey's sleepy too." Mike kissed Billie's cheek and leaned against the doorway, thinking of what to do.

 

I could have Tre watch him while I get the bed cleaned up, he thought. But Tre doesn't know what to do with him. But I can't just leave him by himself. I guess I could just... try and explain it to Tre and see how he reacts, Mike decided and left the bathroom, walking through Billie's bedroom and out the door,heading to the living room where sure enough Tre was laying on the couch, half asleep.

 

"Tre," Mike said as he sat on the end of the couch with Billie in his lap,"I need to tell you something."

 

Tre yawned and sat up on the couch, rubbing his eyes, "It's about Billie, right?" he asked.

 

"Yes," Mike nodded, rubbing Billie's back gently. "See, Billie isn't like you and me. Billie has something... special about the way his brain works. He experiences what's known as regression," Mike said, "And it's sort of like a defense mechanism. When adult Billie gets too scared or stressed out, little Billie comes and takes control to try and soothe himself. He mentally regresses back to a younger age because life was simple for him back then and he didn't have all the adult stuff to worry about."

 

"Okay...so... why's he regressing now?" Tre asked.

 

"I'd say it's because of the tour starting," Mike said as he nuzzled Billie's hair gently, "It's scary to leave home, isn't that right little guy?"

 

Billie nodded and whimpered a little, still stressfully sucking on his thumb as he rested his head on Mike's chest.

 

"Wetting the bed probably didn't help either," Mike said and kissing Billie's head. "He apparently started doing this when he was 10, after his father... y'know. That's what his mother told me, anyway. She and his siblings took care of him until I came and lived with them when we were both 17, then I helped take care of him too. He seems the most attached to me and his mother, since we were the ones who really knew how to take care of him."

 

"Mama..." Billie murmured behind his thumb.

 

"That's right little one," Mike cooed to Billie, "Your mama took really good care of you."

 

"So... when he's regressed, does he, like... remember his dad dy-" Trebegan.

 

"No," Mike interrupted him, "And he doesn't need to be reminded either.You have to understand, Tre – Billie is really fragile in this mindset. If he knew about that, he'd be devastated. So his mother and I agreed not to let him know," Mike stroked Billie's hair and looked down at him, "And luckily, he hasn't caught on yet." He felt so bad lying to Billie like that, but he knew it was best for Billie's emotional health. "Besides, he regresses too far back to even remember such a thing happening."

 

"Oh, okay..." Tre said, "So he doesn't remember me then?"

 

"I'd say not," Mike said, "You wanna introduce yourself to him while I get his bed cleaned up?"

 

"Sure," Tre nodded. Mike sat Billie down in Tre's lap, Tre feeling Billie's thick padding through his pajama bottoms. He's...diapered? he thought. That's good, I guess. No accidents on my lap.

 

Mike kissed Billie's head gently, "Mikey's gonna go clean your bed up now sweetie. He's leaving you with a very special friend, so you two can talk and I'll be right back." He gently patted Billie's back and left to go to his bedroom and clean up his bed sheets.

 

Billie looked up at Tre and whimpered, feeling fussy from the lack of sleep and feeling nervous because he didn't recognize him.

 

"Uh... H-hey there," Tre said, "My name's Tre. What's your name?" He asked. Wait. I know his name already. he thought. Christ, this is awkward. This whole thing is just fucking awkward.

 

"B-Biwwie Joe...." Billie stammered and sucked his thumb stressfully.

 

"That's a cool name," Tre smiled nervously, "So uh, what do you like to do Billie Joe?" Billie simply whined in return and rubbed his eyes with his fists. "W-what's wrong?" Tre asked, starting to become worried again.

 

" 'M sweepy..." Billie murmured and laid his head on Tre's chest. Tre rubbed his back and tried to soothe him and thought about how weird this night was. Is this actually happening? Tre thought as he patted the grown man's back, Or is this just some fucked up dream? He was sort of hoping this was just a weird dream and that by tomorrow morning, he'll wake up and none of this would have happened and he could just push the idea of his band mate wearing a diaper out of his mind.

 

"Uh, M-Mikey's cleaning your bed up," Tre said to Billie, "He should be about done and you can sleep then bud..." He stopped once he heard Billie snoring softly. He looked down and saw that Billie had fallen asleep on him and was gently gripping Tre's shirt. Tre sighed a little, relieved that at least he wasn't crying anymore. He smiled a little and continued to rub Billie's back, almost finding this situation to be... kinda cute? And kinda relaxing too... Oh god, Tre was so fucking tired. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore.

 

–

Sometime later, Mike came out of Billie's bedroom, having finished cleaning up his bed as well as putting some clean pajamas himself. He went into the living room, "Alright, his bed's all cl-" He stopped once he saw Tre and Billie asleep on the couch and smiled a little. "Glad to see you two got along..." He whispered. He went over to the couch and sat at the end of it, gently taking Billie off of Tre and cradling him in his arms. Billie stirred a little and whimpered as his slumber was disrupted. "Shhhhh, it's okay baby boy..." Mike whispered and rocked Billie gently, "It's just Mikey... Let's get you into bed,little one. That'll be a lot more comfy." Mike got up from the couch and carried Billie to his bedroom, laying him down on his clean bedsheets and and tucking him in with his blanket.

 

Tre, having woken up from feeling Billie being lifted off of him, entered the bedroom, "Is he okay?" He asked, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

 

"Oh, sorry dude, I didn't mean to wake you up," Mike said as he gently stroked Billie's hair, "And yeah, he's fine. I'm just getting him settled in." Mike bent down and reached for something underneath Billie's bed and pulled it out, revealing it to be a box with baby stuff inside it. It looked like baby toys, bottles, pacifiers and misc. baby items. Mike pulled a pale blue pacifier out of the box and got up, gently nudging it into Billie's mouth, which Billie gladly accepted and began sucking on it almost immediately.

 

"Won't that mess up his teeth?" Tre asked.

 

"Nah, he'll be fine," Mike said and kissed Billie's forehead gently, "There you go, little guy. Now, let's all get some sleep. It's very, very, very much passed our bedtimes." Billie nodded and yawned behind his pacifier, snuggling up under his blanket and cooing softly. His eyelids lowered as Mike gently played with his hair. "Goodnight little one..." Mike whispered. Billie's eyes closed and soon he was fast asleep. Mike smiled and pushed the box back under Billie's bed with his foot, turned the lamp off and went to his pile of blankets on the floor and laid down.

 

Tre laid down on his blanket pile as well, looking at Mike, "So... All of that really happened? None of that was a dream, was it?" He asked.

 

"No ,none of it was a dream," Mike said, "But uh... Don't mention any of it to him in the morning. He'll have a heart attack."

 

"But if he wakes up with a diaper on and that paci in his mouth, he'll know he regressed," Tre said, "Won't he?"

 

Mikelooked at Billie, cursing under his breath. He didn't even think of that. There was absolutely no point in trying to take Billie's diaper off - that'd end in a total disaster. He got up and went to try and take the pacifier out of Billie's mouth, but as soon as Billie started squirming and fussing in his sleep, Mike sighed and put it back in and Billie returned to his normal sleeping self.

 

"Well I can't take it from him now," Mike said and frowned "I don't know what to do..."

 

"Hey, I know," Tre said, "If he starts panicking about it tomorrow,just tell him I slept through the whole thing. I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, so at least it's believable. Oh, and if I wake up before he does, I'll just act like I'm still asleep when he wakes up. Y'know,give him some time to get big again."

 

Mike smiled, "Good idea. I'll try that tomorrow." He laid back down and sighed a little. "I wish he could just regress and not worry about who knew it. He knows I don't have a problem with it. Do you?"

 

"I guess not," Tre said and pulled his blanket over him, "As long as he doesn't piss, shit or puke on me I guess I can handle him."

 

"That's good to hear," Mike chuckled, "He's not really the pissing/shitting/puking on people type." He yawned and turned on his stomach, snuggling into his pillow, "Alright, bedtime for the adults now."

 

"I hear ya," Tre cuddled up under his blanket and closed his eyes, "G'night."

 

 

"Goodnight," Mike said back and closed his eyes, falling asleep a few minutes later.


	2. Hitchin' A Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billie wakes up the next day after his accidental regression in front of Tre. He's confused, anxious and irritable.

Mike awoke to the sound of Billie nervously muttering to himself. His head pounded lightly as he had woken so suddenly. 

"Hey, Bill..." He said as he sat up and stretched a little, "What's up? You sleep good last night?" He looked at the clock on Billie's bedside table. It was 7 AM. The boys would have to get on the tour bus in 2 hours. 

"Mike..." Billie murmured, sitting upright in his bed with his blanket pulled up to his chest as if he were nude underneath it, "Did I... y'know... last night?" His eyes were wide with panic and his voice shook with anxiety. "I-in front of Tre, nonetheless?" He added. 

Mike sighed softly. "You did wet the bed last night," he began. 

"I... I kinda remember that part," He said, "But the rest of it is blurry..."

"And, you did slip into your headspace," Mike nodded, "But, but - listen to me, Bill - Tre was asleep during the whole thing. Not once did he wake up."

"N-not even when I started crying?" Billie asked as he sniffled a little. 

"Nope, not even then," Mike said and looked over at Tre. He still had his eyes closed and he was breathing softly. Whether or not he was actually asleep or just pretending to make Billie feel better, Mike didn't know. But he was sure thankful for such a convincing act. "I woke up and got you changed and your bed cleaned up and soothed you back to sleep. Tre never saw or heard a thing."

"Thank fuck..." Billie said as his posture relaxed a little. "I don't know what I'd do if he knew... See, like, it's different with you. I've known you my whole life, pretty much. And I know you'd never judge me for anything. And, like, I wanna feel that way for Tre, but... I just... I don't know, dude. It's not that I don't trust him or anything-"

"Why would anyone trust Tre with anything?" Mike said jokingly. 

Billie chuckled a little, "Okay, true. But, like... I don't know him well enough to willingly let him see that side of me. I don't know how he'd react. What if he hated little me? I know he doesn't like actual kids that much."

"I think you worry too much about what other people think," Mike said as he got up and sat on Billie's bed. "For one thing, you're different from an actual child. Sure, you may cry like one, talk like one, piss and shit yourself like one, throw tantrums like one-"

"Your point?"

"My point is," Mike continued, "You're far different from a real kid. You're still an adult most of the time. Secondly, no matter what anyone says or thinks about it, you're fucking adorable in your headspace. You're so clingy and cuddly and cute, who wouldn't like little you?"

"Mike..." Billie blushed and smiled a little, "You're just saying that."

"Am not!" Mike said and ruffled Billie's hair. "That's one thing your mom and I bonded over when we took care of you. We couldn't get over how cute you were." 

"Could you please not bond with my mom?" Billie asked. "For like, any reason?"

Mike covered his mouth and chuckled, "Alright, alright. But lastly, you use regression to cope with trauma. It's not harming anyone or yourself, and that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things. Sure, it's uncommon, but it's better than turning to drugs or other harmful stuff."

"I guess you're right..." Billie said as he fidgeted under his blanket. 

"You good?" Mike asked, "You're being kinda squirmy there."

"Um..." Billie blushed more as he gripped his blanket tightly and looked away from Mike. Mike could tell from Billie avoiding eye contact and his general fidgety behavior that either nature was calling or nature already left a message.

"Can you pull your blanket back, please?" Mike asked. Sometimes, this was what he had to do to get Billie to let him help. Billie swallowed and nodded a little, loosening his grip on his blanket and pulling it away from his body. "Now can you shimmy your pants down a little?" Mike asked. Billie's face was beet red as he nodded and pulled his pajama pants down to reveal his diaper with the wetness detection pattern faded. "That's what I thought. How long have you been wet for, mister?" Mike asked. 

"N-not that long..." Billie murmured. "It's still kinda... warm..."

"And that's all you've done?" Mike asked, and before Billie could answer, Mike tugged a little on the back of Billie's diaper and checked the rear. "Yep. Looks like you're all good there." Rarely ever did Billie mess his diapers, in or out of headspace. Only if he had been in it for a long time or if it was just a flat out emergency. "You should go and get yourself changed and dressed," Mike said. "...Unless you need me to help you."

"Um..." Billie was silent for a moment while he thought. "M-Mi-"

"Yes, I'll help you," Mike said as he patted Billie's back, "Go ahead and go into the bathroom. I'll get your clothes. I assume you want to wear underwear for now?" 

"Yes please," Billie nodded as he pulled his pajama pants back up and got out of bed. He tip-toe'd around Tre and made his way to the bathroom and closed the door quietly. Mike couldn't help but watch and smirk a little as he noticed how Billie had to waddle a little with his wet diaper on. He got out of Billie's bed and went to his dresser and opened a drawer and got out some boxers, a pair of pants and a shirt for him. 

"Coast's clear," Mike said softly, "You can get up now, Tre."

Tre immediately opened his eyes and sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes. "He seriously wet himself again?" He asked. "He didn't even have anything when you put him down." 

"Yeah, I know," Mike said as he shrugged. "I don't know where it all comes from either. He's always had a weak bladder, even before his condition; but I think his condition made it worse." He closed the drawers and went over to the bathroom door. "I'm gonna get him dressed. While I'm doing that, I want you to get yourself something to eat and get dressed too. We've got less than two hours until we have to leave. Got it?"

"Got it," Tre nodded and got up from his blanket pile on the ground and left the bedroom. Wait a minute. Why was Mike talking to me like that? He thought. Like he's my dad or something. Tre shrugged it off, thinking that Mike must have still been in his caregiver mindset and didn't mean to sound like that. He got some cereal for himself and ate in the kitchen. 

-

"Billie, hold still..." Mike said as he tried to keep the squirming adult still so he could change him. "Why are you squirming so much anyway?"

"It's cold...." Billie murmured. Mike was wiping his privates and bottom with a baby wipe and it did, in fact, feel very cold on his skin. It didn't help that it was a cold December morning in a poorly heated house as well. 

"I know, but you still have to stay still for me," Mike said and threw the used wipe away. "You can stand up now." Billie followed Mike's directions. "Do you wanna put your underwear on yourself?"

Billie nodded and grabbed the underwear from the bathroom floor and tried to put them on, wobbily standing on each foot as he stuck them through the leg holes of the fabric. He caught his balance and shimmied them up his legs until they fit snuggly around his most important parts. 

"What about the rest of your clothes? You think you can put them on yourself?" Mike asked. 

"Yeah," Billie said and did the same with the rest of his clothes. It took some time, but he was finally dressed properly and he did it with 0 help from Mike (well... he needed help buttoning and zipping his pants, but that's all). 

"Good job!" Mike smiled and patted Billie's shoulder, "You did that pretty much all by yourself! I guess you don't need me anymore..." He sounded pretend sad. "My baby boy's all grown up!"

"Ha ha," Billie rolled his eyes, "Very funny."

Mike chuckled and ruffled Billie's hair, "You are so fucking adorable. Come on, let's eat breakfast now. You need food in your system."

"I'm not hungry," Billie murmured. 

"You're not?" Mike asked. "You're usually starving by the time you get up in the morning!" Mike thought for a moment. "Wait... You're nervous about the tour, aren't you?"

Billie nodded a little and looked away, looking a little embarrassed. 

"Aw, Bill... I know it's hard to wrap your head around," Mike said and placed his hand on Billie's shoulder. "But by the time we hit the road and go to our first show, I'll bet you'll have already forgotten about Oakland."

"Yeah, but..." Billie's face got a little red, "What if I slip? In front of Tre - or during a show?" His eyes widened at the sudden realization. "Oh god, oh my fucking god, what if it happens in the middle of a show?! Our reputation will be ruined before it even begins!"

"Billie..." Mike said softly, "Come on, just relax, buddy.... You more or less know how to control it, don't you? You just need to keep a cool head. Don't worry about how many people are in the audience, don't worry if something goes wrong with the tech, don't worry if you forget the words... Just keep going. Don't take your mind off of playing." Mike thought for a moment. "Hey, now may be a bad time to ask, but I'm wondering something."

"Go on..." Billie said. 

"Well," Mike began, "I probably know how you're going to react, but I might as well ask anyway... Do you want to wear protection during shows?"

"Y-you mean... No!" Billie protested. "No, no, fuck no. If my pants ride down or fall down completely, I'm fucked. We're fucked. No diapers." 

"Fair enough," Mike said. 

"At all."

"...What?"

"You heard me," Billie said, "I don't want to wear diapers at all during the whole tour."

"Bill, that's fucking insane," Mike said. "You were just worrying about slipping and now you're just digging your own grave. Little you isn't going to appreciate that at all."

"I don't care," Billie said as he exited the bathroom, "I'm tired of little me dictating what I can and can't do. I'm not little me or big me. I'm just me."

"Fine, fine," Mike said as he followed him and closed the bathroom door, "But if you slip and piss your pants, don't go crying to me. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't!" Billie said and slammed his bedroom door closed. God, he was pissed. He was pissed that Mike would even suggest that. Is he trying to ruin the band's reputation? He sighed and went to eat breakfast with Tre. He slumped down in the chair and ate his cereal silently. 

Tre, sitting across from Billie, had heard bits and pieces of the argument. "Everything okay?" He asked. 

"Huh?" Billie looked up. "Oh yeah. Everything's just fine." Tre didn't press any further and the two ate their cereal in painfully awkward silence. Eventually Mike showed up, dressed and sitting down at the table. 

"Not eating?" Tre asked him. 

"Nah," Mike shook his head, "I feel a little sick at my stomach, if I'm honest." 

"I thought you weren't stressing about the tour," Tre said before taking a bite. 

"I thought I wasn't either..." Mike said. "Just last second stress, I guess."

"But you need food in your system," Billie said mockingly. "Suck it up, Dirnt. Eat something. I am."

Mike had to bite the inside of his cheek to make himself not go 'Billie Joe...' in that stern caretaker voice he used when Billie was acting out of line. "I think I'm fine, Bill." 

Tre watched the two uncomfortably and finished his cereal and cleaned up his dishes. "So, uh, everyone got everything packed?" He asked to change the subject. 

"I do," Mike said, "I got all my stuff in the living room, by the couch. Billie does too. I had to help him pack because he didn't know how to do it himself." Billie shot a glare at Mike. 

"Uh... O-okay," Tre said. He had no idea what else to say. He didn't know exactly what happened between them but it was making him extremely uneasy. 

'What the fuck are you doing?' Billie mouthed to Mike. 

'I should ask you the same.' Mike mouthed back. 'Drop the fucking attitude. NOW.' Mike audibly whispered the "NOW" part to show that he meant business.

Billie flinched a little and gulped, his eyes darting away from Mike. Even when he wasn't in his headspace, Mike getting angry at him and scolding him always made him feel bad. Mike sighed and got up from the table. 

"I'm gonna get my stuff," Mike said, "The bus should be here in less than an hour. You guys should do the same." He left the kitchen and went to get his bags. Tre wanted to say something to Billie so badly but he knew he couldn't without giving himself away. He bit his lip and just focused on getting his dishes cleaned up.

Billie just sat in the chair and twiddled with his thumbs for a bit. "Wait... There's something I forgot to pack," He said quietly and got up from his seat and went to his bedroom, where his bags were. He opened one of them - there was still some room to put stuff in it. He reached underneath his bed and pulled out the box of baby items he had and grabbed handfuls of it and stuffed it into the bag. He managed to fit an 18 pack of diapers, a baby bottle and a pacifier before the bag was full. He sighed a little. It wasn't all of his baby items, but at least it was enough for in case he had an emergency slip. 

He closed the bag and pushed the box back under his bed, sighing a little. He felt both relieved and anxious after having done that. Relieved because now if he did slip, he'd be prepared. But anxious because of the possibility of him slipping. 

-

Eventually, the tour bus pulled up and it was time to get going. Billie's and Tre's moms showed up as well to say goodbye to their sons. Mike's mother didn't show up (not that Mike even cared). 

"Billie Joe..." Billie's mom said, holding her son's hand, "While I'm not entirely... fond... of your music choice, I just want to say I'm happy you get to have this opportunity and that I love and support you."

"Thanks mom," Billie smiled. 

"Also... I have something for you," she said and reached into a bag she had placed at her feet. She pulled out a teddy bear with a red bowtie on its neck. She smiled and handed it to Billie, "I figured you'd need a cuddle buddy for the road." 

Billie looked at the teddy bear and took it into his hands, smiling a little. "Aw... It's so cute..." 

"Do you like it?" She asked. 

"Yes... Thank you, mom," Billie said and hugged her tightly. The two hugged for a little bit before Billie pulled away, "I should go now, mom. The bus driver's waiting."

"Go on," She said and kissed Billie's cheek, "I love you, dear."

"I love you too mama," Billie smiled and turned and went onto the bus with his new stuffed friend. He sat down once he was in and held the teddy bear close.

"I wish you didn't have to leave for so long..." Tre's mom said, cupping his face in her hands. "You were so young not long ago... You were my baby... And now you're touring the country..." She teared up, "I'm so proud of you, sweetie..."

"Mom..." Tre whined softly, "The guys are watching from the bus..." 

"I'm sorry," She giggled a little and wiped her eyes, "Mama's just a little emotional." 

"Yeah, yeah," Tre nodded, "I need to go now, mom." 

"Right," She nodded and gave Tre a quick peck on the cheek, "Be good now, okay? I don't want to see you in the news for anything bad, now." 

"We will, mom," Tre said and gave his mom a half-assed hug. "I gotta go now, see ya." He said and began to book it. 

"I love you, sweetie pie!" She called out as Tre stepped into the bus. His face got red as he sighed and the other boys laughed. 

"L-love you too, mom..." Tre called back and sat down in the bus, his face in his hands. 

"Awwww, did mommy embarrass you?" Mike sneered. 

"Shut it," Tre said and took his face out of his hands and looked at Billie's bear. "Oh, cute." He said. 

"I know," Billie said, and looked down at it, "My mom gave it to me."

"You gonna give it a name?" Mike asked. 

"Hmm... I dunno," Billie shrugged. "I think I just like Bear. Short, sweet and to the point."

"That's a good name," Mike smiled and nodded, "You gonna keep it the whole tour?"

"Of course!" Billie said, "My mom gave it to me, I'm not just gonna throw it out or anything." 

"Everyone ready?" The bus driver said. 

"Ready as we'll ever be," Mike said. 

"Alright then," The bus driver put the gear in drive. "First stop, Bakersfield."


	3. I Heard You Crying Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first major concert is coming up, but not before Billie has his first major meltdown.

It was a surprisingly quick 3 hour trip between Oakland and Bakersfield. The boys had spent their time talking about how excited they were to be traveling around the country and seeing all kinds of new places and people. All three of them agreed that it was definitely a very sudden change for them - they all went from grungy teens barely getting by to famous punk rockers practically overnight. They went from no one wanting anything to do with them to becoming these popular celebrities everyone wanted to meet. They went from smoking cheap pot in their basements to... smoking more expensive pot on the tour bus (much to the dismay of the bus driver). It was a riveting and exciting experience for all three of the men. 

But Billie still had his anxious thoughts and feelings.

As much as he tried to convince himself that this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, on the inside, he was dying to be back home, in Oakland, where his mom was within driving distance, where his childhood memories lived, where the comfort of being at home was... 'At least I have Mike,' Billie thought. In all honesty, if Mike somehow wasn't part of the band, Billie would have never agreed to going on tour unless Mike came with him. Mike reminded him of home. He reminded him of good times. He made him think comfy, relaxing thoughts. 

-

Eventually, the bus pulled up to a hotel so they could check in for the night. The boys grabbed their bags and left the bus, Mike taking care of getting them checked in once they entered the hotel lobby. 

"How many beds would you prefer?" The attendant asked.

"Two, please," Mike replied, which made Billie and Tre look at him. The two didn't say anything until the attendant left to get their room key. 

"Uh... Mike?" Billie whispered, "I don't know if you noticed, but there's three of us..." 

"I know," Mike whispered back, "I know what I'm doing. Just let the adult handle this, okay?"

"I'm older than you by 4 months!" Billie said, "If anything, I'm the adult out of all of us!"

"Are you sure about that?" Mike smirked a little. "Are you reeeeeeally sure about that?"

"...Fuck off," Billie blushed a little and looked away. Tre had to bite his lip to keep himself from chuckling at that jab. Luckily, the attendant returned with their key before anymore teasing could ensue. The three boys found their room and went inside, Tre flinging his bag onto one of the beds and flopping down onto it.

"I call this one!" Tre called out as he landed on the slightly uncomfortable mattress. 

"You can have it," Mike said, "Billie and I are sharing the other bed."

"What?" Billie said and looked at Mike. "I don't remember consenting to this." 'What the hell is he doing?' He thought. 

"Well, if you don't like it," Mike began, "There's a shitty old couch you can sleep on. Or the floor, if you're that desperate." He added. Billie sighed a grumbled a little before setting his bag down on the bed. "That's what I thought," Mike smiled and sat his bag down on it as well. "Now, sound check starts at 4, so that gives us a little over 3 hours to just chill here."

"Can I watch TV?" Tre asked without even thinking about it. 

"Uh... Yeah," Mike chuckled a little, "You can watch TV if you want to, you don't gotta ask me."

"O-oh," Tre blushed a little, "Right, sorry." He grabbed the TV remote and pressed the power on button and soon, the television flickered on. But at that point, he couldn't even focus on what was on TV because of what just happened. 'Why... Why did I ask him that?' He thought. 'Why do I feel so reliant on him all of a sudden?' He mentally recalled the incident right before breakfast earlier that day. And the further he thought about it, he also thought about how after Mike finally put Billie back down to sleep last night and he told Tre that it was bedtime... 

Tre shook his head a little. Surely this was all just a coincidence and nothing was happening between him and Mike. 'I'm overthinking this...' 

Meanwhile, Billie and Mike were standing and talking near the door of the hotel room, furthest away from Tre so he couldn't listen in even over the sounds of the TV.

"Mike, I want to know just what the hell you think you're doing," Billie said with annoyance lacing his voice.

"I'm just trying to keep you and your secret safe," Mike said. "I think if you and I share a bed with each other, I can keep a closer eye on you and be able to take care of you quicker if you slip into your littlespace."

"Jesus Christ, is that all you think about?" Billie asked. "Is that all I am to you? Just a weak fucking baby?" He was starting to get angrier and angrier. "I'll have you know, I'm in my 20's. I'm a grown-ass adult, no matter if I have a headspace or not. And when I'm not little, you're not the boss of me! I can make my own fucking decisions!"

"Okay, first of all, watch your fucking tone," Mike said with that stern caregiver voice that could set even big Billie back in line. "Secondly, I'm aware that you're an adult and you can make your own choices. But I'm making decisions for you because I want what's best for you if you do go into your headspace. You want to keep it a secret so badly, so I'm trying to help you keep it that way. And I think that means being able to get to you quicker in case of an emergency-"

"No!" Billie interrupted and stamped his foot, "You're always embarrassing me!"

"Billie Joe..." Mike lowered his voice, "Hush your mouth. There are other people are in this hotel."

"I don't fucking care!" Billie was getting red in the face, "I'm so fucking tired of you treating me like a kid! I'm not a fucking kid!" He was yelling at this point, "I'm not! I'm not! I'M NOT!" 

Mike had no idea what to say. He couldn't tell if Billie had slipped into his headspace or if he was just really pissed. "Billie..." Mike managed out, "I said keep your voice do-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Billie shouted and kicked the wall. "FUCK YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He kicked the wall a few times and just screamed out of frustration. 

Tre was definitely not paying attention to the TV anymore and was watching this from his bed, mouth agape. Was this actually happening? Was he seriously witnessing his bandmate having a temper tantrum like a two year old? 

Mike grabbed Billie and pulled him away from the wall and let him collapse onto the ground in the middle of the room. Billie laid on his stomach with his face to the floor and screamed into it and kicked his legs and banged his fists against the shaggy carpet in pure anger and frustration. Mike and Tre both just watched helplessly as they had no idea what to do. In all his years of practically being a babysitter for Billie, Mike had never seen him have a tantrum of this magnitude before. Billie was genuinely just a ball of anger at this point. A grueling 10 minutes passed before Billie finally started to show signs of calming down as he panted from exhaustion and soon began sobbing into the carpet. 

"I think that's my cue," Mike said quietly as he bent down and attempted to pick Billie up. Billie whined and curled up tighter but this didn't stop Mike from getting a hold of the light weight boy and pulling him into his lap, where Billie immediately buried his face into Mike's shoulder and wept. Mike sighed a little as he couldn't resist the young crying boy's cuteness and rubbed and patted his back and shushed him softly. "Shhhhhhh... You're okay, baby, you're okay..." He whispered in Billie's ear and kissed his temple gently. 

Billie eventually quieted down to short little whimpery cries and sniffles. He clutched Mike's shirt tightly with his fist and uncovered his tear-soaked face from Mike's shoulder. 

"Are you all done?" Mike asked. Billie hiccuped and nodded as he rubbed his eye with his free fist. 

"I so-sowwy..." Billie murmured quietly. Now Mike definitely knew Billie had slipped.

"I know, I know," Mike said as he hugged Billie tightly and stroked the back of his hair, "I forgive you, sweetie. You're just tired and stressy, that's all." He heard Billie's stomach growl a little. "Sounds like your tummy's empty too, little one." He looked down at Billie, "How about we feed you and take a nap for a bit, hm? Would that make you feel better?" He asked. Billie nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth and began sucking on it. Mike got up and held Billie in his arms and sat him down on their shared bed. He was planning on just making a bottle for him since it'd be easier to feed him and have him fall asleep afterwards. But by the time he got Billie's bottle out, he realized they they didn't have any milk. 

"Fuck..." Mike cursed under his breath. "Guess I should go to the store then. I think we passed one not too far from the hotel. Tre, can you handle watching him for a bit again?" Mike asked and turned to Tre. "I shouldn't be gone longer than half an hour." 

"Uh..." Tre sounded hesitant. "I-I dunno, what if he throws another fit?" 

"Well... Given his size, there's not a whole lot you can do," Mike admitted. "It'd be easier if he was smaller. Just make sure he doesn't hurt himself and wait until he's done and just pick him up and calm him down like I did."

"Alright..." Tre said. Mike picked Billie back up and placed him in Tre's lap. 

"Mikey's gonna go get some stuff from the store," Mike said and kissed Billie's head, "Be a good boy for Tre, okay sweetie?" He said. Billie nodded a little and continued to suck his thumb without uttering a word. Mike smiled and ruffled Billie's hair gently before turning and leaving the hotel room. Tre just stared down at Billie, not entirely sure what to do with him. He reached up and gently pet Billie's hair, smiling when that made the boy lean into his touch and coo softly. 

"Aw..." Tre said, "I guess you're starting to like me better now, huh?" He said. He placed his hands on Billie's waist and started to tickle him lightly. Billie giggled and squirmed a little in return. Tre got a devious grin on his face and began tickling Billie on his sides and tummy. "Heh... Tickle tickle tickle~" He cooed a little. Billie was absolutely eating it up, squealing and giggling and squirming in Tre's lap while he was relentlessly tickled. 

"Aaaah!" Billie giggled and tried to pry Tre's hands away, "Nyoooo! Pweeeease! Sta-ha-ha-hap!"

"Never!" Tre said in a goofy growly voice, "The tickle monster never relents!" Billie squealed happily and continued to laugh and squirm until he suddenly stopped and became dead silent. His giggled turned to whines and his cute little squirms became more desperate. "Huh?" Tre pulled his hands away from Billie, "What's the matter, buddy?" He asked. 

He then noticed that his lap suddenly felt a lot warmer than it did a few seconds ago. Tre looked down and saw that Billie's jeans had a growing wet stain forming on them, as well as on Tre's pants and the blankets of the bed. "Oh fuck!" Tre said as he quickly got out of bed with Billie and carried him to the bathroom, leaving tiny droplet stains on the carpet. He sat Billie down on the toilet with his pants still on while Billie shamefully emptied the rest of his bladder through his pants and into the toilet. He kept his head low and whimpered tearfully when he saw just how much of a mess he made. 

"No no no, it's okay, it's okay!" Tre tried to calm Billie down, "It was just an accident, buddy, you're alright!" But that didn't stop what was coming. Billie let out a loud, sad wail as tears rolled down his cheeks. Tre's heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. He bent down to be eye level with Billie and gently held his chin up so he'd look at him, "Shhh, buddy, it's okay, I promise..." But that did very little to soothe the crying boy. Tre sighed a little and got back up, trying to think of what to do. 'Wait, I think I saw some diapers in Billie's bag when Mike was getting the bottle,' Tre thought. He left the bathroom and looked in Billie's unzipped bag and surely enough, there was his pack of diapers. He opened the pack and pulled one out and returned the bathroom where Billie was still crying. 

"Hey, hey, Billie, lookie," Tre said over Billie's crying to get his attention, "Tre's gonna change you out of your yucky pants, alright?"

Billie sniffled and nodded, rubbing his eyes with his fists. 'Poor thing,' Tre thought, 'He's so tired.' Tre made sure Billie was done peeing before laying him down on a towel on the bathroom floor and taking his soaked pants and underwear off. Billie didn't pack any wipes with his diapers so Tre had to make do with what the hotel bathroom had. He just gathered some toilet paper and cleaned Billie's privates and bottom off with that. Then he looked at the diaper. 'How am I gonna do this...' He thought. Tre had never changed a diaper in his life until this point. 'Now's a better time to learn than any, I guess.' 

Tre unfolded the diaper and flipped it a few times before deciding which end was the right one and put it under Billie's bottom. He fumbled with the diaper tapes a little and cursed under his breath when he couldn't figure them out right away, making Billie giggle a little. Tre smiled a little. "Well at least you find it entertaining." He finally managed to get the tapes right and helped Billie sit up. "How does that feel, buddy?" Tre asked. "Better?"

Billie couldn't tell exactly what but something felt off about the diaper that was taped onto him. But he nodded anyway, since it sure beat the feeling of his wet pants. Tre smiled and took Billie into his arms and carried him out of the bathroom and grimacing when he saw the mess they left.

"Oh right..." Tre said, "I forgot about that." Billie whimpered and buried his face in Tre's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay Billie," Tre murmured into Billie's ear, "It was just an accident. I know you didn't mean to pee everywhere." He kissed Billie's temple and nuzzled him, making Billie coo softly and blush. "Here, Tre's gonna try to get the carpet cleaned up at least. I gotta wait until Mike comes back before I take care of the bedsheets, I can't leave you alone." Tre sat Billie down on his and Mike's bed with his teddy bear and tried to get the smell of pee off of the carpet. 

-

Mike came in through the door with a few bags in his hands, "I'm back!" He said as he closed the door and sat the bags down, "What'd I miss?"

"There was... A little bit of excitement," Tre said. He had given up trying to get the carpet cleaned and was sitting in bed with Billie instead. Billie was sitting in Tre's lap, his thumb in his mouth and his teddy bear hugged tightly to his chest. 

"How so?" Mike asked. "God, why does it reek in here?"

"Yeaaaaaah," Tre began, "See, after you left I started to tickle Billie because I thought it'd make him happy - and it did! But uh... Maybe a little too happy?" He smiled awkwardly. "In other words, I may have accidentally made him pee his pants. While we were on my bed."

Mike sighed a little, "Really, Tre?"

"I know, I know," Tre said, "And then I took him to the bathroom and he dribbled on the floor a little and then he started crying and then I put a diaper on him - oh yeah, dude, I put a diaper on him all by myself!" Tre smiled proudly. "My first time ever! Whaddaya think?" 

Mike took at look at Billie's diaper and started laughing. "Tre!" He chuckled, "It's on backwards!"

"It's what?" Tre said and looked at the diaper.

"It's backwards, you goofball," Mike said, "The pattern is supposed to be on his front, not his butt."

Tre blushed heavily and chuckled a little, "Heh, whoops. He wasn't complaining!" 

"It's the thought that counts," Mike said as he took Billie into his arms and patted his padded bottom. "What'd Tre do to you, little guy?" He cooed to him. Billie just giggled and kicked his legs a little. Mike could tell that Billie was in a slightly younger mindset than normal, so now he knew that bottle feeding him was definitely the best option. He laid Billie down on the bed and got his diaper fixed while Tre got up from the bed and started to gather the dirty bedsheets. 

"I'm gonna go to the laundry room," Tre said, "Get these sheets cleaned up."

"Alright," Mike said, "I'll be in here feeding Billie." Tre left the hotel room and closed the door behind him. Mike got the baby bottle and milk all ready and sat on the bed with Billie in his lap. He pushed the bottle teat into Billie's mouth, which he accepted and started to suckle from. He made little soft suckling noises while he drank his milk and stared up at Mike. Mike smiled and started to gently rock Billie once he was almost finished with his bottle. This made Billie's eyelids lower little by little as he finished his bottle and was becoming soothed and relaxed by Mike's rocking and having a full tummy. 

"Shhhhhhh..." Mike shushed softly as he stroked Billie's hair, "It's night-night time, baby boy..." He could use the baby talk a little more with him now that Tre wasn't around. He reached into Billie's bag and pulled out his light blue pacifier and gently pushed it into his mouth, "Here's your binkie, sweetie..." Mike spoke very lightly and barely above a whisper as Billie was just barely awake. Billie gently suckled on his pacifier and cuddled against Mike and weakly clutched his shirt. His teddy bear was still tucked in his arm and was still being hugged against his chest. 

Mike kissed Billie's forehead and cuddled him closely. "Go to sleep, little boy..." He cooed to him. Billie's eyes closed all the way and soon after he was fast asleep. Mike smiled and laid down on the bed with Billie and his teddy bear on top of him, gently rubbing Billie's back and letting him take a nap. 

-

Tre eventually came back with the now clean bedsheets, "Hey, I'm ba-"

"Shh...." Mike shushed him and gestured to the sleeping Billie on top of him. 

"Ohhh..." Tre whispered, "My bad." He made his way over to his bed and started to put the bedsheets back on. Meanwhile Mike continued to cuddle with the flimsy, sleeping man on top of him. While watching Mike cuddle with baby Billie, he couldn't help but feel some sort of almost jealousy bubble inside of him. 'That's ridiculous, I'm not jealous!' Tre thought while making his bed. 'I'm a grown man. I don't have any reason to act the way Billie does.'

"Hey Tre," Mike whispered, "Wanna come lay with us? You can worry about your bed later-"

Tre had already put the bedsheets down and crawled into bed with Mike and Billie. 

Mike smiled, "I guess that's a yes." 

Tre laid close to Mike and looked at Billie. He looked so peaceful while he slept, and his pacifier gently bobbed up and down in his mouth. Tre yawned a little and Mike chuckled a little. 

"It's hard to stay up watching him sleep, huh?" Mike asked. Tre nodded and rubbed his eyes with his fists. "Maybe it's night-night time for us too," Mike said without thinking. 'Shit shit shit SHIT.' He thought. But... Tre either didn't notice, didn't care or silently agreed with him because Tre laid his head next to Mike's shoulder. Tre couldn't put his finger on it but the way that Mike was so soft and gentle and the way he spoke made him feel... safe and comfy. This made it easy for him to fall asleep.

"Come on, let's get some shut-eye then," Mike said. He reached over to an alarm clock on the bedside table and set it to go off in 2 and a half hours from then. By the time he was done with that, Tre was already zonked out. Whether Tre meant to or not, he was low-key snuggling against Mike from the side. Mike smiled at this and gently pet Tre's hair. 'How cute..." Mike thought and yawned out loud. 'Okay. I need to sleep too I guess.' Mike closed his eyes and within a few minutes, he was asleep.


	4. For What It's Worth, It Was Worth All The While

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to the time Mike first discovered Billie's little secret.

Mike was staying at Billie's house for the night. They had been friends for a really long time, but they never had a sleepover until that night. It was a late Friday night. After being at school all day, the two really could use some unwinding time. Mike came around just as it was starting to get dark out, having brought his guitar and his overnight bag. 

"Come on in," Billie said as he opened the door for his friend. "Dude, tonight's gonna be fuckin' sick." 

"I know!" Mike exclaimed and entered Billie's house. It was sort of run-down and was definitely in need of some Spring cleaning. The living room itself was pretty crowded with boxes of whatever and a basket of maybe clean, maybe dirty clothes sat next to the couch. Mike knew that ever since Billie's father passed away, his mom became busy with work and the kids had to do a lot of the housework while she was gone - and it showed, too. But the condition of Billie's house was no better than Mike's, so he knew better than to judge. "We're gonna jam out all night long, right?" 

"Of course!" Billie smiled, "David and Anna are at their friends' houses as well and my mom doesn't get home until midnight tonight, so we'll have the house all to ourselves!" 

"Sweet!" 

"How's about I order us a pizza to kick the night off?" Billie suggested and went to the phone hanging on the living room wall. "What do you want on it?"

"Can we get one with peppers and olives on it?" Mike asked. 

"Fuck that," Billie stuck his tongue out, "You're getting your own pizza then."

"Why not just do half my order and half yours?"

"Because the taste lingers on the rest of it!"

"You're such a baby," Mike chuckled. "Suit yourself. More delicious peppers and olives for me then." 

Billie playfully flipped Mike the bird and then dialed the number and made their order. After the order was placed, he hung up the phone. "Now we gotta wait for like, 30 minutes or something. Wanna go hang out in my room?" He asked. 

"Sure," Mike nodded. Billie lead Mike to his bedroom, which was just as messy as the rest of the house except his walls were plastered in some neat, some torn posters and the shaggy carpet was littered with shirts that needed to be washed. The bed wasn't made, and looked like it hadn't been made in forever. His bedside table had a few empty glasses surrounding his lamp, as well as a few... 'dirty mags'. It was beyond Mike how Billie even managed to get a hold of those. Probably one of his older brothers. 

"You can set your bag and guitar anywhere," Billie said as he sat down on his messy bed. "Just make yourself at home." Mike nodded and went to set his bag next to the bed. "Watch out for my spunk rag," Billie said suddenly. This made Mike leap and look around the floor desperately for this supposed rag, making Billie bust out into laughter. 

"You jackass," Mike shook his head and chuckled. That was one of the things he loved most about Billie - they both shared the same sense of raunchy humor. The two sat on Billie's bed and talked about their day at school, how much trouble they got into, how many teachers they pissed off, and what obscenities they wrote on the bathroom stall doors for a while until they heard the doorbell ring. 

They got their pizzas and went back to Billie's room, continuing their conversation and eating. Eventually, they both got their guitars and started to jam out with each other. Jamming out turned into Billie teaching Mike a new song, which the two bonded over for a while. 

"You know, you're really talented," Mike said, "You know so much about guitar, you're like... A guitar god or something."

"I learned most of it from my dad," Billie said, "He taught me how to play in the first place. Everything else, I just kinda picked up on my own." He was going to say something else, but he suddenly felt this ache in his heart. It wasn't anything physically wrong with him, it was an emotional ache. Bringing up his dad brought on this intense yearning feeling deep within him. "He uh, he'd show me a new song at the beginning of every week and... The rest of the week was dedicated to me learning how to play it..." He felt a lump in his throat beginning to form. "Sometimes I'd learn it perfectly before the week was over and he'd be really proud of me..." His eyes were beginning to dampen. 

"Are you okay?" Mike asked, noticing that Billie was starting to look upset, "We can talk about something else if you want." He felt bad, he didn't know that this would bring up a conversation about Billie's father. He knew it still hurt him, even after 5 years. 

Billie tried to find the words to speak, but nothing would come out. He felt his mind lingering between his normal mental state and his... not-so-normal mental state. 'No, no, no! Not in front of him! Please!' he thought. 'Goddammit! No! Don't do this!' No matter how much his little side wanted to come out, he was fighting it with all his might. He'd kept it a secret from Mike for this long, he wasn't about to just throw it all away. 

"...Billie?" Mike asked. He was worried. His best friend wasn't talking and he looked upset. "I... I'm sorry if I upset you..." He looked away. "I didn't know..."

'Fuck! Now look what you're doing!' Billie was mentally yelling at himself. 'Now he's upset! All you do is screw shit up! You're an awful excuse for a friend! BE NORMAL FOR ONCE!' 

Billie's lip trembled as he tried so desperately to speak, but still, no words came from his mouth. All he could muster out was a whimper as he started to reach out towards Mike, before retracting his hand. He was feeling all kinds of emotions at once - mostly anxiety because of Mike, sadness for his father, anger towards himself and a little bit of nausea from his stomach being full of pizza. He couldn't fight it much longer, he needed to let his emotions out somehow. 

He got up from the bed and quickly went to the bathroom across the hall and slammed the door shut. He sat down on the toilet and let out a shaky, sorrowful weep into his hands. He wasn't entirely little, but he was pretty close. He just sat there, on the toilet, crying into his hands while he thought about his father. He thought about all the good times he had with his dad - the guitar lessons, the games of catch in the backyard, teaching Billie to ride his bike, telling him he was proud of him... Billie felt so much pain and sorrow in his heart. It may have been 5 years, but it still hurt. 

Eventually, there was a knock on the bathroom door. There was no question who it was; it was Mike. 

"Billie?" Mike spoke quietly, "Please open the door... I wanna talk to you..." 

Billie sniffled and shook his head, "N-nuh-uh..." He whined. His little side was starting to become more prominent, whether he wanted it to or not. Mike noticed the change in his tone, but didn't question it. 

"Please?" Mike asked, "I just wanna make sure you're okay, that's all."

"I fine!" Billie whined louder and rubbed his eyes, "Go 'way!" 

"...Billie?" Mike began, "You... You sound funny... Are you sure you're okay?" He was both confused and worried. Why was his friend suddenly sounding so... childish?

Billie had fully entered his littlespace at this point. Now he suddenly had no idea who Mike was, and this new voice on the other side of the bathroom door was scaring him. It didn't help that he had no idea where his mommy was either. Billie whimpered fearfully and brought his knees up to his chest, curling up on the toilet. 

"Alright, I'm coming in there," Mike said with a hint of sternness in his voice. He was seriously concerned for his friend and he wanted to know what was wrong with him. He turned the doorknob, which Billie had forgotten to lock, and opened the door. There he saw Billie curled up on the toilet, trembling and sniveling like a scared child. "What... What's wrong?" Mike asked. "You look scared shitless." 

And now this weird, scary man Billie didn't know was cursing? That was the breaking point for little Billie. His breathing picked up speed for a moment before he burst into fresh tears, this time his cries being louder and more urgent sounding. He buried his face in his knees like he was trying to hide and cried while Mike stood there, completely confused and worried. 

"Wh... Billie..." Mike slowly inched over to him, "Wh-what's the matter? Are you sick?" He asked with a softer tone. 'What the actual fuck is wrong with him?!' He thought. 

Billie flinched once he realized Mike got close to him and cried harder and curled up tighter. He was scared, his tummy hurt and he just wanted his mommy. Mike was starting to become just as frightened as Billie. He wasn't sure what to do - was he supposed to call the hospital? Wait for his mom to get home? What was he supposed to do in this situation. 

"M-mama..." Billie murmured between cries. Mike heard it, but was still confused. 

"Mama?" Mike repeated, "W-what about your mama?" 

"W-wan' my mama!" Billie cried and took shuddery breaths. 

"You... You want your mama?" Mike asked. "Is that what you want?" Somehow, Mike was understanding that Billie wasn't in his normal mindset. He was scared of what was happening to his friend, but he knew that if he freaked out, it'd make everything worse. "...Did I scare you, Billie?" he asked. "When I came into the bathroom?"

Billie nodded and made little whimpery noises. 

"Aw... I'm sorry," Mike gently placed his hand on Billie's back and brought it up and down, rubbing his back lightly. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to see how you were doing." He thought about something. "Hey Billie... Do you know who I am?" He asked.

Billie lifted his head up from his knees and shook his head a little. His face was soaked in tears and had trails of snot dripping from his nose. 'Gross,' Mike thought. 

"Well... My name's Mike," He began, grabbing some toilet paper to clean Billie's face with. "I'm your best friend. We've been best friends since... For as long as I can remember," Mike gently wiped Billie's wet, snotty face clean (but not without Billie whining and trying to turn his face away in protest). 

"M...Mi...key?" Billie cooed and looked up at Mike once his face was clean. Mike nodded a little.

"Y-yeah, Mikey," he said. "Hey, Billie... How old are you?" He asked. Billie looked down at his fingers for a second before he held up two of them.

"Dis many," He murmured. 

"You're.... two?" Mike asked, "Two years old?" Billie nodded and stared up at Mike innocently. He had a bit of a childish wonder in his eyes, like everything around him was new and he had no idea of the harsh, cruel realities of the real world. Billie's mind was a clean slate in this mindset. "That's... Wow..." Mike couldn't find the words to speak. His best friend that he knew for so many years was just... Gone. He didn't know what to say or how to handle it. 

"Mikey?" Billie cooed and tugged on Mike's shirt, "Whewe's my mama?"

"She's... She's at work," Mike said and looked at the time. "She should be home in about an hour."

Billie whimpered as his eyes filled with tears and his lip began trembling again. Mike's heart raced as he tried to find the words to diffuse this tear bomb about to explode. 

"H-hey, Billie, buddy, it's okay!" Mike said, "Think about it like this, you and I can get to know each other and play together until then! How's that sound?" He asked. 

Billie sniffled and rubbed his eyes and nodded a little, "O-otay..." He hiccuped. Mike helped him off the toilet and onto his feet and lead him out of the bathroom. 

"So, what do you want to do, Billie?" Mike asked with a tone of voice he usually reserved for much younger kids. Billie had his thumb in his mouth and was sucking on it shyly, and he pointed to a box full of building blocks at the end of the hallway. "You wanna play with blocks?" Mike asked, "That sounds like fun!" He went and got the box and brought it to Billie's bedroom and sat it on the floor. He cleared the spot on the floor of any dirty clothes so that he and Billie could sit down comfortably and play. 

Billie grabbed some blocks from the box and stacked them on top of each other, knocking them down after he finished stacking them and giggling a little. Mike couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. He was still extremely worried for his friend's wellbeing, but he had to admit that he was pretty cute like this. 

Some time passed before Billie started bouncing in place a little and whining. 

"W-what's wrong?" Mike asked. 

"G-... G-gotta go potty..." Billie blushed and grabbed at his crotch. Mike looked at Billie's bed and noticed all the empty soda cans from earlier that evening. They must have all caught up with Billie. Mike could tell from Billie's squirming and bouncing that he couldn't hold it very much longer. 

"O-okay, okay," Mike got up and went over to Billie and took his hand and pulled him up, "Let's go take you to the toilet then," He said. He wasn't sure how comfortable he was being 15 and using the word 'potty', even if his friend was using it. But then again, his friend currently had the mentality of a two year old, so it didn't even matter. Mike took Billie across the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door behind them and beginning to take Billie's pants and underwear off. "How do you normally do this?" He asked, blushing furiously as he pulled his friend's pants down, "Do you stand or sit?"

"S-sit," Billie squirmed and whined, "Huwwyyyyyy..." 

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying," Mike said and got Billie's underwear down next and sat him down on the toilet, "Alright, let it rip, little dude." 

The sound of liquids splashing filled the bathroom as Billie looked visibly relieved. His toes curled lightly and he sighed in relief as he emptied the contents of his bladder. Mike was blushing like crazy and looking away from the scene and trying not to think about it. 'This is so wrong...' He thought. 'I shouldn't be watching my friend pee... Like a baby, nonetheless.' 

A moment passed before Billie straightened up on the toilet and looked up at Mikey gleefully. "Awl done!" He cooed. 

"All done?" Mike said. "Alright then, let's get you cleaned up." He stood Billie up and got his privates cleaned, which was doing nothing to make the situation less embarrassing. 

"Me good boy?" Billie cooed and looked down at Mike cleaning him up. 

"Uh... Y-yeah," Mike nodded and began to pull Billie's pants and underwear back up, "You're a really good boy for using the... using the potty," He forced out. Billie smiled and bounced happily in place. 

Just as Billie had his pants back on, there was the sound of the front door unlocking. Billie opened the bathroom door and looked down the hallway, and there he saw his mom in the living room, putting her purse down on the couch. Billie beamed and toddled down the hallway happily. 

"Mama! Mama!" Billie babbled happily as he clung to her and buried his face into her shoulder. 

"Oh, hello, little boy," Ollie smiled and gently pulled her baby boy into a tight hug. "What are you still doing up? It's past your bedtime, mister."

"Mama! Me made a fwiend!" Billie said excitedly, "An' me used the potty!"

"You did?" Ollie said, "Wow, that's great baby! Did you make it alright? You didn't leak anywhere?"

Billie shook his head, "Nuh-uh! No weaks! Me made it to the potty wight on time! My fwiend hewped me!"

"Who's your friend?" Ollie asked. 

Just as she said this, Mike made his way down the hallway and into the living room. He shyly waved his hand to them "Heyyyyy..."

"Oh dear..." Ollie said quietly. 

"His name Mikey!" Billie said brightly. "He was scawy at fiwst bu' he's weawwy nice an' he pwayed bwocks wif me an' tooked me to the potty!" 

"That's great, sweetie!" Ollie gently ruffled Billie's hair, "I'm glad you two had so much fun!" She looked back up at Mike and motioned him to sit down on the couch. Mike nodded and sat down and watched Ollie and Billie.

Ollie sat down next to Mike and held Billie on her lap. "Now Mike. I know you have a lot of questions. But to be truthful, I can probably only answer a few of them."

"Okay... So like, my main question is, what's happened to him?" Mike asked. "This isn't the Billie I know..."

"I know," Ollie nodded, "It's all so different and scary. He's definitely the same Billie, but he's just... younger. The doctors called it mental regression. Simply put, if he gets stressed out or sad, he retreats into this mentality of a toddler or baby, sort of like a stress reliever. He's done it ever since he was 10."

"10?" Mike asked. He knew Billie longer than that, and this was the first time he's even seeing this? "Oh wow... He must have really not wanted me to know..."

"Yeah," Ollie sighed, "Big Billie is really embarrassed by Little Billie. He's afraid of ruining his reputation."

"But... Why?" Mike asked, "Why does he regress like this?"

"Well..." Ollie covered Billie's ears, "Surely you know what happened to his father..."

Mike nodded, "He's told me..."

"It's because of that," Ollie said. "It was so traumatic for him that it caused... this... to happen," She looked down at her little boy, who was absentmindedly suckling on his thumb and drooling around it a bit. He saw his mama look down at him and smiled sweetly and grabbed one of her hands with his free one. Ollie smiled and uncovered Billie's ears and held his hand. "Mama's got you, little one..." She cooed to him, making Billie smile more.

"Does... Does he know about... that?" Mike asked. 

"Um... No, not really," Ollie shook her head, "Not in this state of mind, anyway. I just haven't had the heart to tell him. He'd be heart broken. So, while he's like this, I've decided to not let him know," She said. "It's what's best for his mental and emotional health."

Mike nodded in agreement and stared at Billie, who was starting to look visibly tired. Billie yawned and stared up at his mama with heavy, sleepy eyes. 

"Awww, is someone sleepy?" Ollie said and gently rubbed Billie's tummy. "Oh my, your tummy is absolutely full!"

"We had pizza earlier," Mike said. "He pretty much inhaled a whole pizza by himself."

"I can tell!" Ollie patted Billie's tummy, making him giggle a little. "I hope you're out of your littlespace before nature calls, otherwise that's gonna be a heck of a diaper to change." Billie just stared up at his mommy, having no clue what she meant. 

'Wait... diaper?' Mike thought. 'I thought he was toilet trained...' 

"He wears diapers?" Mike asked. 

"Most of the time, yes," Ollie nodded, "Speaking of which," She got up, holding Billie on her hip, "Let's go get you ready for beddy bye, mister." Billie clung to his mommy and cooed softly while he sucked his thumb. She carried him to his bedroom, Mike following behind them. Ollie sighed a little as she saw the state of Billie's bedroom. 

"Billie Joe Armstrong..." She murmured quietly, "I've told you I don't know how many times to clean your room..." She laid Billie down on his bed and looked to his nightstand, seeing his empty cups and provocative magazines. She grabbed them and looked at them, blushing once she realized what they were. "Okay, we're definitely having a talk about this when you're out of littlespace," She said as she handed them to Mike. "Go put those on the couch in the living r- DON'T LOOK AT THEM. Put them on the couch." 

Mike nodded as he scampered off into the living room, taking a sneak peek at the mags before placing them on the couch and returning to the bedroom. 

Ollie undressed Billie from head to toe, going to his closet and searching for something. She came out a second later with a puffy white diaper, the changing supplies and a pair of pajamas to put him in. She returned to the bed and began to diaper Billie, making him whine a little. 

"Mama... No need diapeys," He pouted, "Me used the potty, wemembew?"

"I know, snookums," Ollie said as she powered his bottom, "But this is for when you're sleeping. You can't use the potty while you're asleep, silly. And I don't want you to make pee-pees in the bed, okay?" She said. Billie nodded and sucked his thumb while Ollie taped the diaper onto him snuggly. She then slipped his pajamas onto him, all while Mike just watched from the side. This was actually happening. He was watching his friend's mother diaper and dress him like a baby. 

Billie looked over to Mike and reached for him, "Mikey!~" He cooed. He seemed to be really happy to see Mike, which was definitely an improvement over how he acted when he first 'met' Mike a while ago. 

"Heh... Hey, little guy..." Mike smiled and waved at him. He gently reached his hand out and held Billie's hand, making him smile brightly. 

Ollie gently stroked Billie's hair, "It's time for bed, little boy..." She cooed to him. Billie whined and kicked a little in his bed, starting to show signs of fussiness. "Aw, is someone getting cranky?" She said. Billie rubbed his eye and squirmed a little in his bed and whined. "Someone's a little fussybutt~" Ollie reached into the top drawer of Billie's dresser and found a light blue pacifier and gently nudged it into his mouth, which he immediately accepted and began suckling on. His sucking made little squeak sounds, making Mike smile. As much as this weirded him out... He loved Billie like this. He was adorable!

The pacifier in his mouth was soothing him, and Billie started to lower his eyelids as he suckled on the rubber teat. Ollie tucked Billie into his bed and kissed his forehead gently, "Goodnight, baby boy..." She cooed to him softly. "Sweet dreams..."

"Goodnight, Billie..." Mike said as he gently pet Billie's hair, "Mikey will be here to play with you when you wake up..." 

This made Billie smile a little. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore and closed them, almost immediately falling asleep afterwards. 

"Well, that was eventful," Mike said quietly. 

"If you have any questions, just let me know," Ollie said, "Oh, and, Mike? If he's not in his littlespace tomorrow morning... Just act like you didn't see anything, alright?" She asked. "He'll have a panic attack."

"Uh... Alright then," Mike nodded, "I'll try my best." He got a bunch of blankets together and made a mat for himself on the ground to lay on. He was too tired to change into his pajamas and was going to just sleep in his day clothes. Today was tiring and he needed to sleep immediately. 

"Goodnight, dear," Ollie said as she turned out the light. 

"Goodnight," Mike yawned and laid on the mat. He closed his eyes and started to doze off, trying to convince himself that this was all a dream and none of it really happened.


End file.
